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| | A doctor's bout with cancer
Jan. 04, 2004
By Maria Cecil Laguardia
Inquirer News Service
HE HAS cancer of the skin. Melanoma is one of the deadliest types. Stage four. He has six months to live. By the time you read this, the countdown would have reached midway. His simple message to other cancer patients, "Don't quit." And live life to the fullest.
If you met him somewhere in town, you'd think he is in the pink of health. There were no traces of fear, bitterness or apprehension in him. He was never even in a hurry to squeeze the most out of his remaining months. This man surely knows courage at its deepest.
If this is what my God has planned for me, so be it," is what he always says.
Apart from being a successful doctor on Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation in the United States, Dr. Joseph Sueno is a man who can accept the worst part of life and deal with it like one ordinary problem. His eldest son Jay described him proudly as one who "knows how to work hard so he can play hard."
Plain Dodoy Sueno to almost everybody, he grew up in Koronadal City, South Cotabato province. He studied in Koronadal Pilot Elementary School, and at the Notre Dame of Marbel for Boys in high school.
"From the very start, he was the dreamer among us," recalled his older brother, the former South Cotabato governor Ismael "Mike" Sueno. "He knows what he wants in life, and gets it."
A few years after graduating from medicine at the University of Santo Thomas (UST), he got married to Catalina "Nena" Almeda, a certified public accountant and daughter of the country's first inventor Benjamin Almeda. They migrated to the US in 1978. He went into residency training in 1980 in Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation at Wayne State University in Detroit, Michigan.
In between review notes and books for the board exams, he was househusband as he took care of son Jay, then a baby. By 1983, he has started his private practice in Olympia, Washington where he later established the First Rehabilitation and Sports Therapy Clinic. Nena said, "Our perseverance has paid off."
It took him three years to make his mark. Nena shared how her imagination of queuing patients, as soon as he opened his clinic, was dashed. Eventually, hard work paid off. Eighty percent of his practice is referral-based: his patients are referred to him by other doctors, most of whom are Americans.
Asked why his brother is a success, Mike Sueno said "He is a focused man, and very generous." Every year, he makes it a point to go home to the Philippines and bring the Sueno clan together. The fourth in a family of seven, he was the one who "brings harmony to the family" especially when there were differences.
"Even when we were growing boys, he would always give me his own savings so I can buy what I want. He is selfless."
Dr. Sueno's only daughter Carolyn, whose dream of going to New York and work with MTV was realized because of his support, affirmed this, saying his generosity, support and spirit is beyond words.
"True friends though, know when you need help, they don't wait for you to ask for it -- and that's my Tatay (father). Words cannot give justice to the greatness of my Tatay's friendship." Carolyn is on her way to a law school armed with her Tatay's inspiration.
When Dr. Sueno went to a dermatologist to consult a birthmark, he thought it was just a case of a fat tumor. "Even when I was studying, I had suspicions about my birthmark in the thigh." But he brushed this aside.
After a series of tests, the diagnosis came out -- melanoma, a skin cancer that has spread to his liver and is already on stage four.
"I took the news as a doctor getting a diagnosis, not as a patient." He admitted he was on the period of denial.
Browsing through the web, MSN Health's Medical Encyclopedia described melanoma as "a form of skin cancer that occurs in the pigment-producing skin cells (melanocytes). These cells become abnormal, grow uncontrollably, and aggressively invade surrounding tissues. Melanoma may affect only the skin, or it may spread (metastasize) through the blood or lymph system to other organs and bones."
"Although melanoma is the least common type of skin cancer, the frequency of melanoma in the United States is increasing. It is the most serious form of skin cancer. Melanoma may be cured if caught and treated early, but it is rarely curable in its later stages." The last sentence seemed painful and raw in its finality.
The first thing he did was break the news to his family. There was so much anguish but for him something good came out of it.
"My family gave me more of their attention." He described it as his highest point as a person because before he felt he was always "on the giving end." His three children even stopped studying to give him time and care.
How will he live his few months? "I will be working as usual. Nothing would change except that now, we pray the holy rosary daily and try to go to Mass everyday."
The only thing left for him to do is share more of his blessings to others. Recently, he donated seed money to set up the Sueno Foundation aimed at providing scholarship to the poor children of the clan.
"Later, if it is big enough, we hope to extend it to others." That would be his last wish if given one, "to share more, a life of charity."
His coming home recently in Koronadal was for the family "a celebration of life." They gathered family, relatives and friends to celebrate his 54th birthday and a tribute was given in his honor. Among the most poignant testimonies about him was Jay's.
Jay told the hushed audience how his father instilled in him and his three siblings Paul, Carolyn and Michael, the three most important values: never cheat people, respect people no matter who they are and where they came from, and respect your elders. Sounds like our good old Filipino values that most have forgotten but this Filipino family in the States lived up to.
Not discounting the "wonderful home, the best education, opportunities and the values," Jay believes his best gift to his children is "his fatherly love." "When I was sick, he was there as a father first and physician second. If I had a sporting event, he would be there to cheer me on despite having to sit on the bench for sometimes 10 or more hours."
But the most important is that "Tatay tried to live up his life through Jesus" and possesses a kind of faith where he "finds his solace, strength and inspiration."
If the decision is left on him, he does not want to go into chemotherapy, not wanting himself to be bedridden just to prolong his life. By undergoing one regularly, doctors advised he may at least add two months to his life span.
He, however, bowed to his family's wishes and is currently undergoing dacarbacine, a chemotherapy that he describes as "four hours of pain."
Nena identified the values that made up the man with whom she spent countless "humble times" and successes -- courage, honesty, compassion, humility, patience, perseverance, responsibility, respect and love. The list would have been endless. This man is a towering symbol that cancer is beaten with courage and faith in God.
As he walks through his last days, he is never afraid, and one can see that in his face. No fear, only peace and calm. Some people are truly blessed.
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